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My ideas are constantly changing as I learn. Sometimes they even change midway through writing a post.

Tuesday, December 14

an Answer

My real life is stranger than fiction. Ok, maybe not, but it's crazier. Anyways, I haven't had much time to focus on writing. I've been thinking plenty trying to work through solutions to my problems. I've come to realize over time that I'm very prone to getting discouraged and giving up on problems. Never definitely attempting to actually solve them. I've been working out strategies for keeping going. There are multiple things that can instantly boost my mood and make me feel encouraged - warm hugs, working in the yard, listening to music, singing, taking a long bubble/salt bath, doing various tasks that I've been putting off.

I realized yesterday that I'd been neglecting the music and singing part quite a bit, so I reset up winamp and have been listening to music. It's been great. I can't resist singing along loudly and making my voice crack. It's really annoying to me that I've finally worked out that I can sing (ok, so I need lots of practice, but it's possible for me, with lots of practice, to sing pleasantly), but I can't seem to sing loudly or for very long without wearing out my voice. I hope it's just a matter of needing to warm up and practice more. I don't have time to do a lot of steady practicing right now.

Anyways, it's amazing how a bit of music can make even the worst problems seem solvable. I'm listening to one of my favorites for singing. "Answer", by Sarah McLachlan. I do ok at it, I think. Unfortunately, my recording set up got all messed up when XP was installed on my 'puter, so I can't make one right now. It could be fortunate, too, because I have a hard time with a few notes and my voice gets squeaky on them. It seems romantic and melodramatic in a way, but I think that sort of stuff inspires me at times. I need all the encouragement I can get lately. Here's the lyrics:

"Answer"

I will be the answer
At the end of the line
I will be there for you
While you take the time
In the burning of uncertainty
I will be your solid ground
I will hold the balance
If you can't look down

If it takes my whole life
I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end
Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all gone out
You'll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind
Take me to a
Place so holy
That I can wash this from my mind
The memory of choosing not to fight

If it takes my whole life
I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end
'Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all burned out
You'll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind

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