eXTReMe Tracker WARNING: The opinions expressed and linked to in this blog are not necessarily mine (anymore).

My ideas are constantly changing as I learn. Sometimes they even change midway through writing a post.

Saturday, January 15

Nonviolent Communication

I've been reading fast trying to get through the rest of Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Create Your Life, Your Relationships, and Your World in Harmony with Your Values by Marshall B. Rosenberg. "Nonviolent Communication" doesn't convey what they book is about very well, but the rest of the title does.

I found the concept of people having basic needs in common interesting. Of course, I've thought of people as having needs like food and shelter in common. Rosenberg goes much further in identifying emotional needs. He suggests that when one feels angry, it is because one of these needs is not being met and taking the time to figure that out and express it. He also suggests starting out with empathizing with a person, forming a connection with them, before expressing needs.

One aspect of the book that troubled me a bit was an example of a bigger child hitting a smaller child. He suggested empathizing with the bigger child first. It could seem that you don't really care too much about what is being done to the smaller child and that perhaps you think the older child is "justified" in his actions. Then again, it could be that once the younger child is encouraged to express his need - for safety - the older child will respond to this favorably and be motivated to better ways of dealing with problems. Hopefully, the message they're both getting is that things can and should be worked out.

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