eXTReMe Tracker WARNING: The opinions expressed and linked to in this blog are not necessarily mine (anymore).

My ideas are constantly changing as I learn. Sometimes they even change midway through writing a post.

Saturday, December 29

On Dating

I while back, I wrote about no more dating. I'm unsatisfied with how I expressed myself in that post, so I thought I'd attempt a rewrite.

I've been afraid of dating because I was afraid that I would hurt other people by not being interested in them.

It's not that I expect hordes of people to be interested in me. It might have something to do with my own experiences with being rejected as a young girl.

I'd develop a crush on some boy or another - think about him continuosly for a long time, find out that he didn't return my interest and be quite devestated by it. I don't know why I took such things so hard, but I did. I wouldn't want to be the cause of anyone feeling that way.

What I learned from my more recent experiences is that it's not always painful or even terribly uncomfortable to have someone simply uninterested in you.

Which also addresses the other fears ... of embarrassing myself.

Being hurt, oddly, is one thing I'm not afraid of so much - even with having some fairly recent experiences with it. It seems odd -fearing embarrassment more than pain.

That said, I'm still not dating. I'm not sure if it's because no one's asked or because I feel more inclined to seek friends. Probably both.

I'm back!

I don't have anything in particular I want to write about, but I'm happy to be writing - even if it's not totally spellbinding or interesting. It's also fun to look back at my previous beliefs and compare them to my current beliefs.

I love this bit of brainstorming...

I'm very excited about the new year coming up. I think it's because I get to write resolutions. I love writing resolutions and reviewing my old ones. I can't recall looking at the one's from the previous year and not making some progress on at least one of them. Usually, I make some or good progress on more than one - even if I never look at them again until the end of the year! Writing new ones is fun, too, because it's a chance to let go of any guilt or bad feelings about not accomplishing the old ones and start with a clean slate.